


Hidan and Deidara get high together

by Pitiful_Prince



Series: Hidan Oneshot Series [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Drabble and a Half, Gen, Hidan (Naruto) Swears, Hidan and Deidara are friends, I did this on a whim because I was bored, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Recreational Drug Use, Swearing, Talking, Trans Deidara, Trans Male Character, trans Hidan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22826758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pitiful_Prince/pseuds/Pitiful_Prince
Summary: They get high and eat snacks while having a casual conversation about Hidan’s scythe, how funny it is that Kakuzu was a medical ninja, and what Kakuzu’s village was. They forgot. They solve the mystery.It’s basically mainly dialogue.
Relationships: Deidara & Hidan (Naruto)
Series: Hidan Oneshot Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641862
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	Hidan and Deidara get high together

“So… how many people could you kill at once with that?” Deidara asked, pointing to Hidan’s scythe. 

“You fucking stupid? Obviously it’s at least three.”

“But the force of stabbing one could like, stab another. If the-the uh... stabby part goes fully through them or whatever and lynches another dude.”

“Oh, shit you’re right,” Hidan said. 

He looked at his scythe quickly. He bet the biggest blade could get two people, maybe the second one. The third one was too small for even one person. 

“Maybe like, five people,” he concluded. “Cause three plus two is five.”

“No way. I thought three plus two was six. Mind. Blown,” Deidara said sarcastically. “Sauce me another bag.”

Hidan used the largest blade of his scythe to scoop up a stray bag of plain potato chips. He flicked it over his head and into Deidara’s hands. An impressive shot, of he did say so himself. Deidara caught it midair and ripped it open with his teeth. Hidan cringed. 

“You’re gonna ruin your teeth if you do that,” he said. 

“How do you know that?” Deidara absentmindedly asked while munching on a chip. 

“I’m partnered with Kakuzu and that old bastard used to be a medical ninja.”

“Shit, no way! Kaku was a medical ninja? That’s a job for kunoichi, not a grumpy bitch like him.”

“I know, right?”

Hidan laughed and thought of Kakuzu working in the medical corps of his old village. The waterfall one or something. He couldn’t remember the name of it to save his life. Maybe the incense was fucking with his head. 

“Hey, Dei.”

“Wha?”

“What’s the name of Kakuzu’s village?”

“You don’t remember your own partner's village?” Deidara sneered. 

“What’s Sasori’s village called then?” Hidan challenged. 

“That’s easy. It’s Sunagakure, one of the five great shinobi nations.”

“That’s not fair! Kakuzu’s from a tiny ass village with no rep, unlike your puppet partner. Sunagakure, come on.”

“Don’t complain that we’re both from the big five and you and Kaku are from the backroads of nowhere,” Deidara shrugged, eating a fistful of chips. 

Hidan stuck his tongue out at him and fell into his back. His akatsuki cloak made quite a nice blanket to keep him off the cold stone floor. Deidara watched him and decided to flop on his back as well. _What_ is _Kaku’s village though? What’s the word for waterfall?_

Deidara let out a long breath and flicked his hair out of his face. The calming scents from the burning incense dampened his ability to think. 

“It’s gotta be something like, ‘the word for waterfall in Japanese’ and ‘gakure’, right?” he asked to the ceiling. 

“That makes sense. What’s waterfall in jap though?” Hidan asked, also to the ceiling. 

“Hell if I know.”

“Same.”

“Should I put out the incense before we go braindead?”

“Fuck no. I haven’t been able to get like this in ages. Kakuzu’s always on my ass about being in peak performance and how drugs are bad.”

“Sasori just lets me do what I want,” Deidara said. 

“Is he your dad or what?”

“Is Kakuzu _your_ dad?”

“The old bastard sure acts like it. Always trying to teach me how to take my T shots right. Like, it’s none of your business dude, get off my dick,” Hidan ranted pure heartedly. 

Deidara nodded in agreement. Sure Sasori never told him how to take shots or bind right, but he was always ready to answer questions. Deidara glanced over at Hidan’s flat chest that protruded from his half open cloak. There were no scars, obviously since Hidan couldn’t get injured, and it looked hella normal. Deidara got an idea. 

“Yo, Hida. Did you do a D.I.Y top surge-”

“ _Taki!_ ” Hidan blurted. 

“What? Like the chips?”

“No, dumbfuck, the Japanese word for waterfall. Kakuzu’s village was Takigakure.”

“Oh yeeeaaahh!” Deidara exhaled. “Takigakure! I think Kurotsuchi went there once in place of the old man Tsuchikage.”

“Who’s Kurotsuchi? She hot?” Hidan teased. “’She your old girlfriend back in your stone village?”

“She was basically my younger sister by like two months. We were just hella tight friends, y’know?”

“I know,” Hidan agreed. 

Hidan and Deidara lay on the floor and gave each other a fist bump. Together, through their joint brainstorming, they managed to have a meaningless conversation they’d never bring up again.   
  


Still, it was nice.

**Author's Note:**

> I did this in like 25 minutes for fun because I love these two idiots and their dynamic. They’re both trans and like complaining about everything together.


End file.
